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Baal Gates: We Need an Anti-Bovine Flatulence Quackcine
Joseph P. Farrell

On Monday last you’ll recall that I blogged about the insanity rapidly overtaking the western world. On Monday it was the United Kingdumb’s Index of Prohibitted Authors Who Might Provoke Violent Right-Wing Extremism; you know, people like Aldous Huxley, or George Orwell, or J.R.R. Tolkien or William Shakespeare.

Well, now you can add Baal Gates – no surprise there – to the list of those who insist that “the madrigore of verjuice must be talthibianised,”  and who insist on exploring the full range of gas-baggery, according to this story shared by V.T.:

Now, like you probably did, I literally did a double take when I read the headline. “Surely,” I thought to myself, “not even Baal Gates could be so insane as to imagine that cattle flatulence is a serious enough problem to affect greenhouse gasses, and that the cure for it is a quackcine designed to stop flatulence?”

Au contraire, mes amis, according to the article, he is gymnastically nuts:

According to a report from Axios, Gates is the leader of an investment fund behind ArkeaBio, a Boston pharamceutical company that is seeking to develop a livestock vaccine that will help reduce global vaccine emissions.

The outlet reports:

ArkeaBio, a Boston developer of a vaccine to reduce livestock methane emissions, raised a $26.5 million in venture capital funding led by an investment fund founded by Bill Gates.

Why it matters: Caring about cow farts (or burps) has become a political punchline, but they’re estimated to create more than 5% of global greenhouse gasses. Vaccines could be a relatively low-cost, scalable solution, particularly as food demand increases.

Now, I have to ask myself that all-important question that all of you are probably asking yourselves: just how does this planned quackcine intend to work? By dissipating the gas itself inside the cattle so that they do not have to…well… fart or burp? Or by preventing them from farting or burping but allowing the gas to build up in – to cite the sage words and scientific wisdom of C.S. Lewis from Monday’s blog only slightly out of context – “a continual of porous variations?” If the latter, I cannot envision any circumstance where it is an improvement to prevent any animal from farting or burping. The gas buildup alone could lead to severe explosive consequences at meat packing plants, and these consequences could very well be not only explosive, but an unsightly and unsanitary mess as well as unhealthy to the food supply.

Of course,  both of these alternatives are ridiculous; they’re insane. And that’s the point: these people are insane. They’re nuts, because the next step is to realize that all animals must eliminate waste, and sweat, urination, flatulence, and excretion are the normal ways this happens. Might was well create a quackcine for the elimination of elimination, and that, I submit, would be a quackcine that would ultimately eliminate life itself.

Or to put all this country simple: Mr. Gates is simply against life itself. Not just human life, not just because in his twisted and fevered brain there are too many humans, but simply because there is too much life, period.  And as we began this week with a bow to C.S. Lewis, so we’ll end the week with another bow to him, because Mr. Gates’ vision has been ably captured by yet another character from That Hideous Strength, a character by the name of Professor Filostrato, yet another deluded and insane “scientismist” member of the National Institute for Coordinated Experiments (N.I.C.E.). Filostrato holds forth on the beauty and utility of completely artificial trees made of aluminum, and how beneficial to the planet they would be. “How if,” he asks, “if were perfected? light, made of aluminium. so natural, it would even deceive…. Consider the advantages! You get tired of him in one place: two workmen carry him somewhere else: wherever you please. It never dies. No leaves to fall, no twigs, no birds building nests, no muck and mess…. At present, I allow, we must have forests, for the atmosphere. Presently we find a chemical substitute. And then, why any natural trees? I foresee nothing but the art tree all over the earth. In fact, we clean the planet.” (C.S. Lewis, That Hideous Strength).

Challenged about what birds would do in such a world, Filostrato elaborates: “I would not have any birds either. On the art tree I would have the art birds all singing when you press a switch inside the house. when you are tired of the singing you switch them off. Consider again the improvement. No feathers dropped about, no nests, no eggs, no dirt.”  And, to add Mr. Gates’ miserable contribution, no flatulence and no burping. Clean. Tidy.



Indeed, in Lewis’ version of this lifeless dystopia, Filostrato’s interlocutor – the hero of the book in fact – observes that “it sounds…like abolishing pretty well all organic life.”

Filostrato’s response is quintessentially Gatesian: “And why not? It is simple hygiene.”  It’s healthy. It’s medicinal.

So, yes, Baal Gates wants to eliminate all elimination, all flatulence, all burping… all elimination. He will not stop at cattle. Livestock is simply necessary to get the principle acknowledged and accepted. From there the N.I.C.E. people can go to work on all life.

Or to put it plainly once again, in words that might come have come directly, and presciently, from Mr. Gates’ mouth: “the madrigore of verjuice must be talthibianised.”


These people are blithering insane lunatics. They do not belong on forums or discussion panels at Davos. They belong in group therapies in asylums for the insane.

See you on the flip side...


Joseph P. Farrell has a doctorate in patristics from the University of Oxford, and pursues research in physics, alternative history and science, and "strange stuff". His book The Giza DeathStar, for which the Giza Community is named, was published in the spring of 2002, and was his first venture into "alternative history and science".

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