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January
25
2024
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Trump MUST Win
That is, 33% of Americans distrust the granite beneath democracy — the ballot itself. They believe the thing rests upon limestone foundations. Or worse… sand foundations. Thus American democracy is down with a wasting disease. Today we propose a solution. It will restore American democracy to pink and vigorous health, to the highest pristinity. What is it? Answer shortly. We first note Mr. Trump’s primary victory in the Granite State of New Hampshire. He excelled his central challenger — Nimarata Haley — by a 54.4% to 43.3% margin. The margin itself is handsome. Yet we hazard the election would have been a true trouncing had Democratic and independent voters been excluded. Electoral Sabotage Perhaps 70% of Haley boosters were not registered Republicans. Many likely checked her box because it was not Mr. Trump’s box. It was less a vote than an act of sabotage. They would not vote for Ms. Haley in the general election. The circus now folds its tent, yanks its stakes… and lights out for the state of South Carolina… which Haley herself once queened. In that state Mr. Trump commands a splendid polling advantage. We must conclude that Mr. Trump will seize South Carolina’s primary election. We conclude further that Mr. Trump will seize the national Republican nomination. He will appear upon the November ballot, and on the Republican ticket. We now return to our proposed cure for the ailments that besiege American democracy… Strong Medicine You may choke upon the potion. You may label it a quack cure — and we concede, it is indeed rough medicine. Yet the patient pitches into critical decline. His vital signs slacken and his heartbeat fades. Desperate times, as the phrase runs, require desperate measures. Here then is our cure for American democracy: Rig the election in favor of Donald Trump. That is correct. Rig the election in favor of Donald Trump. We call upon all election officials to alter the vote machines, load the ballot boxes with fraudulent votes, enlist the dead — whatever is required to elect this fellow. We further entreat the courts to dismiss all attending legal challenges on grounds of “standing” and other legal theorems. Moreover, we implore the media to denounce all “election deniers.” Simply declare the 2024 election “the most safe and secure” ever… And Donald Trump as its winner. Have you just heaved a heavy brick through your computer screen? If you have not, here is our reasoning… such as it is. The 2020 Election As stated, a fatal one-third of American voters lack belief in the electoral system. Many acquired this distrust following the 2020 presidential election. Even a disturbing degree of Democratic voters harbor nagging questions. They believe that ballot harvesting, mail-in voting, relaxed identification standards, compromised vote machines and related tricks yielded Mr. Biden the election. Consider the state of Georgia. Georgia was one “swing state” that swung toward the Democratic candidate. Yet VOTERGA is an outfit consecrated to “electoral integrity.” Their examinations reveal that
Questions We remind you that Mr. Biden claimed the state of Georgia by some 12,000 votes. If a mere percentage of these claims are authentic… would the election swing the other way? Are these claims correct? Are these claims incorrect? How many result from fraud? How many result from honest error or poll worker incompetence? These are but some questions that present themselves. To the larger question: Are one-third of distrustful American voters correct or incorrect to distrust elections? For our purposes… it makes no nevermind. The fact is, one-third of American voters are distrustful. They no longer believe in authentic elections. Thus American democracy is down with a fatal sickness. How can you restore their faith in American democracy? Again, the answer — despite all hell’s angels — is to anoint Mr. Trump president this November. It does not matter if you adore Donald Trump or you abhor Donald Trump. It is all one. Yet he must be elected for the sake of American democracy. We have listed the means. All that remains is the will. Faith Restored! Consider our proposal’s manifold bonuses. For one: It would instantly disarm the Trump-drummers still yelling he was wrongfully denied the 2020 election. Their foundations would crumble in a heap. Here is what their foes will say… All the alleged mechanisms of 2020 fraud remained intact in 2024. All the ballot harvesting, all the mail-in balloting, all the relaxed identification requirements, all the compromised vote machines — the entire apparatus of electoral fraud — were up and going. Meantime, the same “Deep State” that undermined Trump in 2020 was arrayed as heavily against him in 2024. So with the media, so with the judicial system. And yet — and yet — Trump won the election. How is that possible if Trump confronted the identical obstacles he confronted in 2020? Maybe it is time, they will say, to abandon your fantastical claims about the “stolen” 2020 election. Maybe your guy just lost fair and square. The fact that your guy won this time proves the 2020 election was truly safe and secure. The Trump devotees would have to concede it is a highly fair point. “I have to admit,” the standard Trump voter will conclude, “I didn’t think Trump stood a prayer because everything they did in 2020 was still in place. Yet he won. Maybe I was wrong about 2020 after all.” What do you have here? You have a voter who believes in the electoral process anew. You have a voter who believes in American democracy anew. Multiply this one example by millions and millions… and you have a general restoration of the democratic faith. And that is our purpose. But You’ve Elected a Dictator! That is all well and that is all good, comes the counter. “But at what price? It means the end of American democracy. Haven’t you seen the news? Didn’t Trump admit he aspired to be dictator — if only for one day? Lord knows what he’ll actually do if elected.” Yet we have anticipated your objection. To which we reply, simply, the bureaucratic powers that sabotaged his first term… will sabotage his second term. They will bottle the man in his cage. If Trump orders his understrapper to do such and such that the understrapper does not wish to do… the understrapper will say yes… then proceed to heave the order into his hellbox. Or if the understrapper passes the order along to his own understrapper, understrapper number two will heave the order into his own hellbox. So on and so on, down and down the line, clear through the bureaucracy. How would this dictator get anything done in the teeth of this opposing force? He cannot. He is a tiger neutered. He is tame as a tabby. That is our answer to your objection. You have little to fear. Is This Democracy? At this point the Trump-drummer reenters the argument… “But that’s the problem — the Deep State. It’s out to get Trump. We elected him democratically to get things done on our behalf. But he can’t do anything because the Deep State is always sabotaging him. What’s the point of even having an election?’ This objection is a valid objection. We do not claim our solution will gratify everyone. Each side will gain something; each side will lose something. Yet in aggregate, we believe each gains more than it loses. Mr. Trump’s election restores a mass of voters’ trust in American democracy. Yet it placates Trump’s despisers because he will be effectively caged — hence harmless. He may get his tax cuts and his deregulations like any standard Republican. Yet he will be unable to impose the policies his critics loathe most. For example, he will be unable to deport 20 million illegal aliens. He will be unable to facilitate Vladimir Putin’s conquest of London. He will not jug Hillary Clinton The bureaucracies will simply not permit him. Is the Cure Worse Than the Disease? Yet perhaps we have cured one malady, only to introduce another. The pancreas is working again but the liver goes to seed. What about all the Democratic voters who will distrust the electoral process after the rigged 2024 election? How will we rewin their trust in American democracy? A conundrum! Here we counsel patience. The rigged election of 2028 will restore their faith…
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Some 33% of Americans distrust elections.